I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
