she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
No stitches, just platelets and will power
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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