Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
