I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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