hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
