talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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