i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
