Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
