You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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