I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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