I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
