Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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