Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I don't deserve a penis
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
