Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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