The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
