dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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