i barfeds in our rink
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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