Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize