and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
