I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
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