Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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