also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
