So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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