Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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