I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
