Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
