The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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