What a fucking waste of an outfit
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Randomize
