New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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