hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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