I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
