drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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