I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
my god I love twenty year old dicks
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I have post one night stand depression
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
