After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
