so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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