One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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