He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
