Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
