i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
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