I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
