You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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