Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
