Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
