I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
worst night to have a conscience
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
