you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
