At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
