My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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