I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She just used a chaser for red wine.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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