the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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