Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
