My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
