im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
