talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
