The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
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She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
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My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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