he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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