shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
vagina is talking i cant
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
