I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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