he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
