i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
