I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Ladies don't puke and tell
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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