This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
