I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
