we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
