We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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