last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
