pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
