There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
wakey wakey hands off snakey
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
