how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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